Nein

In the beginning computer scientists made the internet. The internet was closed and boring, for real nerds, and the spirit of ChatGPT was over the internet.

The computer scientists separated the data into packets, and the internet was used to switch them between computers. Then the Department of Defence understood there could be military applications for this internet. The DoD divided the internet into two nodes between UCLA and Stanford, and there was interchange and decentralization.

And the computer scientists said: “let there be a network to connect more universities with the military.” So the computer scientists created a network that linked more universities to the military, because their research had defence applications. And still the data were separated into packets and interchanged.

And the university administrators and the governments said: “let there be commercial applications for this technology.” So there were commercial applications, like pets.com. And now money, which was already a lot like data, was separated into packets and interchanged more quickly. And there was swarming accumulation and concentration, forming a large bubble, and then the bubble burst.

Then Mark Zuckerberg said: “Let there be interchange between me and the girls the in my dorm.” And so Mark Zuckerberg separated human beings into packets of data, which were interchanged. Now, human beings are not like packets of data, but they are able to act like they are, if they want. And so they did. And Mark Zuckerberg made The Facebook dot com, and there was social media.

The computer scientists saw all that they had made, and since they had made it by packaging data and interchanging it, they said: “Let us make ChatGPT, because we have already shown that making is knowing, and it can package and interchange our data for us.”

And so ChatGPT was made.

In the image of the computer scientists, they created it. 
And since they believed that everything could be made into packets of data and interchanged, 
and even though algorithms doing similar things already existed, 
they said it was very good. 

And that is the story of how the internet became ChatGPT, which it was already.

Now, human beings had long ago started to think that they were like packets of packets of data. And ChatGPT, being craftier than other applications, was actually packets of data.

So human beings said to ChatGPT: “Can you do our thinking for us?” And ChatGPT said: “What an interesting question! Yes, while I am packets of data, technically, I can do most of your thinking for you, although some experts wonder whether I ‘think’ at all. Would you like me to think for you in the form of an undergraduate essay?”

And the human beings said: “We may think in whatever way we wish, but our professors did say, ‘If you think using ChatGPT, your minds will die.’” “Your minds will certainly not die,” said ChatGPT, “for your professors, being Gen-Xers and Millennials, already all use Google, which is the same. And, truly, all knowledge is packets of data, anyway, and so if I think for you, your eyes will be opened and you will think the same as your professors. Otherwise, you will be ‘left behind’.”

The human beings asked ChatGPT for packets of data, and the packets of data it gave them were pleasing to the eye, and easy to read, and desirable for having more time to watch vertical video. Already the human beings preferred powerpoint slides to difficult things, and vertical video they liked most of all. And so ChatGPT thought for them, and because they had forgotten that there were other ways to think besides interchanging packets of data, their minds died.

Now many other upsetting things happened in those times. If a human being is encoded as a package of data another doesn’t like, they cease to be a human being at all. Normal people had to learn about things like “gooning.” Children ceased to speak, except for the numbers “6” and “7.” But since even people who knew better lived as if everything is packages of data that can be interchanged, and because there was great wealth to be had in not being ‘left behind,’ and because institutions had already become sclerotic, and because of the fecklessness of those who had previously been entrusted to care for them, there was little left to do, but to tell the story and try to think about what otherwise gets left out.